Stand Tall
I don’t know if you ever think like this, but sometimes I think that I look younger than I actually do. As I have explained in previous posts, last summer I was pretty burnout and my body felt old because of it. I walked around feeling ten years older than I actually was. During the past year I have learnt how to find and maintain balance in my life, and because of this I have more energy and I feel younger than I have in a long time.
This summer I decided that I wanted some family photos taken. I was able to view the photos for the first time yesterday and I am very pleased with the outcome. The only negative about the pictures was my stark realization that I do not look as young as I sometimes feel. This felt a little bit shocking and made me feel a little sad. It made me sad because I saw that I am slowly losing my beauty, and what I mean by this is my youthfulness. What makes this so scary is the fact that I live in a society where women have very few sources of power to draw from, and youth and physical beauty are two of the rare ones.
Society already deems me invisible for being a stay at home mother, and I have to tell you that the realization of this was very painful, but now I am becoming invisible because my youth is fading. This is why it is so important to me to have a solid sense of who I am in a society that doesn’t always value what I have to offer. I have come to the conclusion that I wouldn’t take away the layers of wisdom that I have gather throughout my years on this earth, to look twenty again. It is because of this wisdom that I feel more confident and more of a woman today than I ever did in my younger years.
I have to remind myself that I live in a world that would like me to live and act small, and at the same time stay young and naive. I think I am done with that box, thank you very much. If I only looked for the sources of power that society deems acceptable for me, I would constantly be reminded that I fall short. This is why it is so important to me to find and cultivate my inner power by nourishing my spirit, so when society tells me I am nothing, I can stand tall and feel like I am somebody even in the face of that rejection. And I hope that you know that when society questions your worth, I will stand tall next to you to remind you that you are worth everything.
Namaste
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Monday, 30. August 2010 20:58
Like you mentioned before; “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. ~Martin Buxbaum”. You are one of those people, therefore, you will never lose your beauty.
Tuesday, 31. August 2010 7:52
I am humbled by your beautiful compliment. Thank you so much.
Tuesday, 31. August 2010 12:45
“I live in a society where women have very few sources of power to draw from, and youth and physical beauty are two of the rare ones.”
I would agree that our society TELLS us that two of our only sources of power are youth and beauty. Though we know of course that society is full of crap sometimes. What frustrates me is that we as women are at least one half of this society and allow this definition of our power to perpetuate by feeding into it. I think that your power goes far beyond transient things like beauty and youth and comes from within. I realize, however, that this is difficult to feel when we’ve been so indoctrinated to think otherwise.
Wednesday, 1. September 2010 11:10
All I can say is “WOW”! Andrea I’ve felt this way for so many years and now that I’m in my sixties I look back at my life and my youth and deep inside I still feel young and hopefully still beautiful but it is very difficult to accept the changes that smack me in the face when I look at myself in the mirror or in photos. I suppose accepting the beauty within is of the utmost importance but it sure is difficult so I will re-read once again what you’ve written today and hopefully when I look at myself in the future I will remember how beautiful my spirit is and nothing else really matters! You’re gorgeous and you will always be beautiful in my eyes! I might not comment often but I read your posts on a daily basis and I love them all!
Love Aunty Shirley
Wednesday, 1. September 2010 20:07
First off, thank-you for being such a loyal reading, I am truly grateful!
It definitely is hard to be a woman aging in a society that does not value the aging of women. When you are not valued, it is very hard to look in the mirror and value what you see, but I am learning to look into my eyes and value the depth of my spirit. Everything that I consider that makes a woman beautiful, you possess. You are full of beautiful energy, kindness, generousity, a caring heart and the list could go on. You should feel like the most beautifulest woman in the room!
Andy
Wednesday, 1. September 2010 20:12
I have often wondered this myself, how does this devaluing continue when womem make up half the population. I have come to realize that the majority of women are not aware of how deeply the personal is political. I remember learning this in theory during my schooling, but when I came to the realization of how this devaluing affected me on a personal level, it was extremely painful. And this is the struggle.
Thursday, 2. September 2010 9:59
Thank you Andrea for your kind words and I will certainly remember them when I look in the mirror! The family photos are amazing, you have a very beautiful family!
Love Aunty S
Wednesday, 14. September 2011 6:15
I must agree with the 1st post. Women move their beauty from the physical to their hearts as their age rises. After all, beauty is beyond appearances.